The Battle of Antipodes

There is one dance in the soul
An elegant demise for those with supple hearts
It begins softly, soft as the feathers of a swan
And grows deeper, stronger yet
To claim all we know and all we see

This is what we live for
This is what we've become
This is how we decide
How this life now will be done
'cause in the end, we all take sides
In the Battle of Antipodes

There they stood, face to face
Awaiting dawn to pierce the dark
But that light, it never came
Their hearts burning slow with nothing left to gain
Eye to eye, they realize
Their hearts were worlds apart

This is what we live for
This is what we've become
This is how we decide
How this life now will be done
'cause in the end, we all take sides
In the Battle of Antipodes

One word, one phrase, one key to release
The storm inside 18 years in the making
Here he stands, his future in hand
And all he can find is the next step in line
He looks for the answers in gold and serenades
But lives like there's nothing to dream
So he stretches his pride
To find what he might
In the light that pierces his eyes

This is what we live for
This is what we've become
This is how we decide
How this life now will be done
'cause in the end, we all take sides
In the Battle of Antipodes

Betrayal-Jon Foreman

Betrayal
I don't remember much about that night
I'm pretty sure it rained the day I died
I think it rained.. I think it rained.
I'm pretty sure it rained the day I died.

You and I were always closest friends.
It's woman that make enemies of men.
A pretty face.. a pretty face.
A pretty face would one day do me in.

Her eyes were like the Winter when she goes...
holding secrets only winter knows.
Winter knows... Winter knows.
cause winter's seen the wolves in woman's clothes.

She came to me and made the laughter new.
We held eachother close the whole night through.
Love was blind, love was blind.
I didn't see her let you in the room.

Someone always wins
and then they write a book
I see my defense
fingering a different crook

A gunshot was the only word you said
And my defenses, they all came out red
Love was red, love was red
She left with you, you left me lyin' dead

And I watched her as you put me in the dirt
She had my wallet tucked inside her skirt
I went numb, I went numb
'Cause I'm not dead if what you did don't hurt

I think it rained I think it rained
I'm pretty sure it rained the day I died

Reality or Fantasy?

It's amazing where we find ourselves at times. Somehow, in the best moments of our lives, it seems that things have the inexplicable ability to turn for the worst. Our hearts rise on the wings of hope only to be shattered by the realization of harsh reality. My friends, life is not pretty. Sometimes we see a glimmer of hope in the sunrise or in the love of another, but all we have to do is look at the shores of our once gorgeous beaches or the prevalence of one-night-stands, divorces, and broken homes in this world to realize that our hopes are in shallow realities.

We live for fantasies.

I was watching this debate a couple days ago between one of the porn industry's biggest stars, Ron Jeremy, starring in over 3000 adult films, and the self proclaimed porn-pastor from xxxchurch.com. I have to admit, I learned a lot from watching these two. To me, it was obvious who made the better argument in the debate, but there was a lot to learn from both sides. The main thing I got is the fact that our culture lives for fantasy. We love to watch action flicks, to play games like lazer tag, and to look at porn, all of which involve us envisioning ourselves doing something that doesn't exist.

From sex, to drugs, to money, it's all about fantasies. Fantasies of the perfect love-life or reputation, the perfect feeling, or the ability to buy anything. It's all about finding pleasure. And yet... no matter what we do, it evades us.

Reality. What is it about this thing that we so long to avoid? Do we really get so much pleasure from fantasies that is better than real life? Or is it, rather, that we are so depressed by what we see in this world, that we have to find an escape just to keep on living?

Honestly, I have a hard time putting any kind of faith in people anymore. I'm beginning to see that people will always disappoint, always lie, and always hide their true essence, who they really are when nobody is looking. I don't know who to trust anymore, except for those who I have shared life with, and even some of those have turned on me for a lie. My heart aches for the ones who are alive in their fantasies, but dead in reality--the ones who drink, do drugs, have sex, and work themselves to the bone because if they don't, life would be a waste or simply meaningless.

There is more to this life than what we know, more than what we see, and more than what we can conceive. Our hearts lead us to believe and tell us that we are more than merely highly-evolved forms of the apes. We are more, and our essence is more than that of the apes. Our purpose is more. But what is our purpose?

Is the fact that we spend so much time in our fantasies a symptom of a lack of understanding of our true meaning and purpose in this life? Or is it something else?

Here's an interesting thought. Take a moment, think about the time when you were most happy. Not the time where you were extremely happy, and it ended up being a lie or a falsehood, such as a cheating gf/bf or a divorce, but when you were truly happy and felt that nothing was wrong in the world? What made that so precious to you? Maybe, in that moment, you can begin to understand what we were made to feel. Who we were made to be. And the reality that transcends this place and our fantasies.

Do we really want to live in a lie? Or do we want to live beyond the depravity of our humanity?

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner

Well, here it is, new movie of the week, "21". I read some reviews on it before I left and it looked like most people didn't like it that much. Honestly, I don't know why. Maybe it's cause the main character in the movie, Ben, is in a similar place to where I am now. A college student at MIT, Ben has spent his whole life working his way up to Harvard Med School, and now, he's looking for a way to pay for it. So he starts counting cards with some of the people at MIT and almost loses himself to gambling.

There's just something I love about this movie, and I don't think it's that I'm at a similar point in life. The movie taps into something that I think isn't spoken of very often in some circles.

The desire to take risks.

There's something about us, as humans, that makes us always want to take risks. We see something like sky diving, bungee jumping, or free climbing and it's exhilarating. And it's not just the adrenaline junkies I'm talking about. We thrive on risks. Asking the girl to prom, going out to parties when our parents are asleep, or simply driving way too fast. Something about us longs to take risks, not because of the risk, but because we know of the greatness that comes when we succeed. We long to be great, just like Ben did in "21". So here's the question.

Why aren't we great?

So much of the time, it's simply because we don't take the risk. We're scared of what will happen if we fail. This is something that has plagued me for most of my life, and I regret not having taken the risks. There's something to be said for being safe, but not when it hinders on the chance to be great. Drinking and driving? Yeah, that's a stupid risk, and one where you need to play it safe. But asking that girl to prom or standing up for something when no one else will? Those are the moments we long for.

The reason we never become anything and stay in our little po-dunk towns, working at the McDonald's and making less than minimum wage for the rest of our lives is because we never try. We dream, and we long, but we never take the risk. This movie is a great example of what can happen when you take risks: the results can be good, and they can be bad. All I'm saying is, let's learn to take risks, but let's not be stupid about it. Do the hard things and make mistakes. In the end, you'll be happier that you took the chance to make something of yourself instead of waiting for greatness to smack you in the face.

If there's one thing to take away from this movie, it'd be this:

Greatness doesn't come by hard work and safe measures. Greatness comes by passion, dedication, and taking chances to become great. It doesn't just land in your lap one day, you have to make it happen for you.

So will you dare to be great?

Gotta Love that Fake Church Language

You know, it's amazing how much people in the church say things without even realizing what they are saying. There's something about church culture that makes people think that they have to speak in some magic lingo to be Godly. Is there something about saying "thee" "thou" and "art" in our prayers that makes it easier for God to hear? Maybe God can only speak in 19th century english, and has no idea what we say if we don't speak that way.

I know, a lot of you are probably thinking, "Thank goodness I don't speak like that. That's for the old people. I talk normally when I talk about my Jesus." and for the most part, you're right. In our little town, most Christians have gotten out of that mentality of thee's and thou's, but I still think that there is a form of "Christian lingo" that many people haven't thought much about.

It's this idea that Christians have to be eternally happy. I guess with guys like Joel Olsteen and other "prosperity-gospel" preachers on t.v. who do nothing but smile incessantly, we get this idea that in order to be a good Christian, we have to smile, have 2.4 kids, tithe every week, pray 14x a day (cause you would do seven, since it's God's number, but since you want to make sure you cover it, you double the lucky seven), have a great home life, never yell or get angry, and always say "bless their heart" when you say something even questionably mean.

Sadly, this has been my experience with the church of America for the most part since I was a kid. Maybe you've experienced the same thing I did, or maybe you were around parts of it or, God forbid, even something worse than this. Well, whatever the case, this is a major problem facing the Church, and I think there's two reasons for it.

1. Authenticity
When was the last time that you saw a televangelist you could relate to? Or what about a pastor of the local megachurch? They always seem to be so happy and so incredibly perfect, like if you breathed on them, you'd be afraid they'd crack. So, you figure, "Church is for perfect people who have it all together. I wouldn't fit."

Hmm.... well, let's put it this way. Pulpits have never been good for humility. Something about getting paid $120,000 a year somehow makes you say things you know are false just so you can keep your check. Pulpits tend to make people say things that people want to hear. It's rare to find anyone who speaks what they actually think, especially with any kind of excitement, but there are a few. Some of my favorites are Mark Driscoll, Rob Bell, and Erwin McManus.

I love listening to these guys. They say things that aren't meant to make you feel good, but they're honestly just trying to figure out what it means to live out what Jesus teaches in the world we live. Of course, not everything they say is right or true, but nothing anyone says ever is. I certainly don't get everything right, I know that much.

But the thing about authenticity is that it involves work. It involves creativity. It involves the danger of losing--of losing that pay check, losing people from the church, and even, heaven forbid, losing their perfect reputation. Honesty is tough, but if we're serious about following Jesus, we should be as honest and blunt as He was. 'Course, there's a difference in honesty and brutality, but that's another issue entirely....

2. Religion vs. Jesus (Rules of the Pharisees)
The second problem we have is that for some reason, we can't get over this idea that we have to do things to get to heaven. Heck, we even think we have to do things to be a good Christian. Well, call me a heretic if you want, but I think God doesn't want us to be good Christians. I don't even think He wants us to be Christians.

At least, not in the sense of today's Christians. Today's Christian is focused on doing the right things, saying the right things, tithing enough, praying enough, and burning enough heretics to cut the heating bill in half for the next general budget. Christianity today has become no different than the other religions around it, and that's not what Jesus was about.

Jesus was authentically about something other than what this world and its religions offer us. He didn't come to make a new institution (although I'm sure some would like to debate that one), He didn't come to help you pay off your debts and get out of hell free. He came to give grace, something that we can't earn by our actions, but something that leads us to want to change, to be renewed by Him, and to obey Him.

It's all about your heart.

Religion says you have to do these things to be a good Christian or get to heaven. Jesus says you get to do these things out of joy because I love you and you're free.

God knows that if your heart truly is about loving Him and loving others, that everything else will follow. It's only natural. You can use all these big nice church terms, go every sunday, and even play in the praise band and still not follow Jesus.

It's not about acting a certain way. It's about a wholesale change of our hearts by surrendering them to Jesus and allowing our pitiful excuse for a good life to be completely transformed from something dented, bruised and with a few band-aids, into a brand new, beautiful, and clean. It should drive us to long to be more like Him and to share His heart.

Once our hearts are in the right place, the rest will follow. Just check out Luke 10: 25-37, James 2:14-26, Isaiah 58: 6-12. There's all kinds of verses about this.

I leave you with a passage from one of the aforementioned references from a version many of you may not be familiar or comfortable with:

"Not so fast. You can no more show me your works apart from your faith than I can show you my faith apart from my works. Faith and works, works and faith, fit together hand in glove. Do I hear you professing to believe in the one and only God, but then observe you complacently sitting back as if you had done something wonderful? That's just great. Demons do that, but what good does it do them? Use your heads! Do you suppose for a minute that you can cut faith and works in two and not end up with a corpse on your hands?"

Today, that same church lingo that was used 200 years ago is a symptom of either inauthentic faith, or religious piety through feeling the need to follow the rules of what Christian culture dictates is a good Christian. I don't know about you, but I'm tired of religion and inauthenticity.

But that's why there's Jesus.

Three Days Grace

three days pain reminds me
of what i chose to do
of who i chose to be
and what i chose to believe

three days empty and longing for more
a heart left broken
from words left unspoken
to the one who can take it all away

three days lying in the dirt and mire
reduced to dust
left to rust
in the gutter of the day

three days more and i'll be free again
three days now and i'm dead in sin
my head is numb
my heart is cold
to the things i knew
and spoke so bold

three days to realize
the things i hide
the pride inside
that wears away
what i once denied

it's been three days now
and i'm addicted still
to the coke, to the drugs
to the popping pills
of righteous tolerance
of religious ignorance

cause for three days now
i've sat in this place
looking endlessly for three days grace
when all i've found is pride and hate
the things of God, they desecrate

the things i knew no longer placate my hunger
the things i know no longer can make me younger
the life i lead and the words i've said
these worlds collide to leave me dead
my heart and soul collide as one
the ending verse at once begun

The Beginnings

Well, here I am, sitting at Mug Shotz, sipping my favorite coffee in the world. Normally, this place has a bunch of college students in here, but it’s spring break this week, so it’s a pretty nice place just to sit back and reflect.

Speaking of reflection, I’ve been trying to figure out what I want to talk about first, and I can’t decide. Here’s a few of the things I want to tackle in the next few posts….

What the crap does “Missional” mean?
Gotta love that fake church language
What about us creative souls?
Gospel vs. Justice, the battle of the century
The origins of morality:
Where did all the real ones go?
Do you honestly think that?
Beauty—the beginnings of divinity
Life and Love and Why?
And many others to come!

Since I’m new to the whole blogging thing, it may take me a while before I get consistent, but I hope to get there in the future. If any of you know me, you know I love good conversations and honesty, and that’s what I hope to have here. I don’t want to simply have a place to rant and rave about my latest thoughts, but to share my thoughts in hopes of beginning a place to talk a/b the hard things. There are too many things left unsaid by those not bold enough to speak them in the dark.

That’s why I named my blog Truth in the Night. The quote at the top of the page is actually a quote from a photojournalist, an adventurer, a philosopher, and a lover, named Hunter S. Thompson. I find a lot of his writings on life to be pretty interesting and a sober look at the world that is so different than the little subculture I belong to.

So to wrap things up, I hope to post more in upcoming days. Thanks for visiting my blog! It’s a rough start, but I wanted to get at least the bare-bones minimum up to start with and as time goes on, change things up and develop the site. Hope you guys will enjoy!